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Using the concept of Love Languages in your Katy home

My husband and I read Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, early in our marriage.  We found it to be of such importance that I went on and read The Five Love Languages of Children, by Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell.

The premise of both books is that love is understood differently by different people.  If I love my husband with acts of service, he will receive the love more deeply than if I love him with quality time.

I highly recommend the books for anyone who is interested in finding out your love language.  The book lists 5 basic, general love languages: words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, quality time, and gifts.

When life is busy being lived, it isn’t always easy for me to know exactly how to translate the overarching idea of ‘quality time’ into my structured week.  I know my spouse responds to love through gifts, but that doesn’t always mean I know which trinket to grab while I’m grocery shopping.

Enter a strategy we occasionally employ: I will, from time to time, ask my spouse the question, “How can I make you feel loved today?”  The answer is supposed to be something that meets a need or desire he has that very day.  From grabbing his favorite beer at the grocery store to spending 30 minutes watching UFC with him, I know that what he requests will allow him to feel love from me.

I often, throughout the day, will make mental notes of how I would feel love.  Although acts of service is not my primary love language, some days, with the kids and the house heavy on my mind, I feel the most love when my husband willingly takes cleaning the kitchen on.  Other days, all I want is to sit still in his presence after the kids have gone to bed.

Although it takes some of the surprise and intrigue out of it, stating our particular ‘love need’ on some days assures we will be meeting the other person where they are, with something that will really encourage or refresh them.  It works well for us, and helps take general ideas from a book and apply them in our daily lives.

What about you?  Do you use the five love languages in your home?  Post a comment below!

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